edenonline

welcome to my blog :D my name is cecil! this is my diary ...

day 1

i went shopping alone for the first time today! ... it was really fun, but scary too. i bought some hairclips, and a cute dress. my mom thinks i'm weird for liking japanese things, but at least she doesn't see them as satanic. i started a new anime today, too. it's about a boy who fights these monsters, ironically called angels. i'll have to keep that show on only when my parents are asleep, haha...

day 2

today i went to school. i out on my church clothes, i'm not sure why. i guess i just wanted to feel pretty. it was a long, flowy white dress, and some wooden bead necklaces with my stockings and black boots. it's my favorite outfit. sometimes, i feel like i want to be something else. i'm not sure what. my mom says wanting to be anything but what you are is unholy, and ungrateful to the body god gave you. i stop talking after that.

day 3

i found a sheep in the woods today. i laughed! sheep aren't supposed to be in the woods...the poor thing must have wandered away from the farm just a few miles from here. how did it get so far alone, i wonder. i put my hand on it's wool, and looked in it's eyes. i saw something in there. i can't remember what. but i felt like it was calling to me. trying to tell me something. the bible says that sheep are like us, they're used to represent the children of god. sometimes, it's like i can feel horns and ears on myself, like i was a sheep. but that would be silly. only boy sheep have horns, and besides. i'm not a sheep.

day 4

i got an email today. someone calling himself "az"... we talked a little bit. he seems nice! i don't know how he got my email, but i guess it might be a family friend that my mom wanted me to talk to- she does that sometimes, without telling me. he seems to really like me. it's nice having someone that actually enjoys being around me so much. i wish i knew more about him, though...he's not very keen on telling me much about himself.